As a single woman myself, I know far too well how frustrating it can be when you’re waiting for the right person. Our friends and family tell us the right person will come along soon, and we want to believe that, but soon hasn’t arrived yet.
Have you ever considered that there is more to the waiting process than you might think? This is something that I had to figure out during the years of waiting that I am currently in. As soon as I realized that, it changed my whole mindset when it came to the waiting process.
In this post, I will discuss some of the hard truths we have to realize when it comes to waiting for the right person.
The Right Person Is Attracted to Growth
When waiting for the right person, it is important to understand that waiting doesn’t mean standing still. When you stand at a red light, you are waiting for the light to turn green so that you can cross the street. But our lives are not the same when it comes to waiting for a relationship. Our internal street lights are always green, meaning we should always continue to progress forward.
The waiting period is not a time to be stagnant. It’s a time of self discovery. This is the time to figure out who you really are. When we are in a relationship, we can easily become someone we are not, because we never truly took the time to figure out who we were before the relationship.
The waiting period is the time for personal growth and to ask yourself some hard questions.
- Do you lack self love? If you are not sure, check out this post to find out.
- Do you lack confidence?
- Do you need to work on your health?
- Are you financially out of control?
- Do you lack discipline?
- What brings you joy?
- What are the things you love doing?
These are just a few of the questions you need to ask yourself. The purpose of asking yourself questions is to learn about yourself and really get a feel for who you are and the areas where you need to grow.
The growth you will be embarking on will elevate your life in a way that you never imagined, and that elevation will be noticeable to people around you. The right person for you will definitely notice it, because the right person for you will be attracted to the growth you have made.
There is something that radiates from a woman who is pursuing personal growth, and whatever that is will attract the right man to you. When you understand who you are authentically, then you will show up as that person in future relationships. The right person will accept how authentic you are.
Sometimes the Waiting Is About Healing
As I mentioned earlier, the waiting stage you are in is about self improvement, and that includes healing. It is true that none of us will become completely healed, but we have healing to do. Healing first starts with doing some deeper self reflection like we did earlier. Here are some questions that can help identify some areas that you might need to heal in:
- Have you ever been in a toxic relationship?
- Did you go through a traumatic event during your childhood?
- Have you ignored relationship red flags?
- Are you the type of person who reacts in an angry way, instead of responding with calmness during an argument?
- Do you go against your intuition and second guess yourself?
There are plenty more questions you could ask yourself depending on your life experiences, but most of us can answer yes to at least one of these questions.
The experiences in our lives shape who we become moving forward. The person we become doesn’t always turn out to be our best self. We become a person going through life, making poor decisions and/or leaving a trail of hurt people because of our own unhealed pain. Let me give you examples using the questions I asked above.
- If you have been in a toxic relationship in the past, that can potentially cause you to misunderstand what love really feels like, which can cause you to settle in the future.
- If you had a traumatic childhood, that can cause you to have trust issues and a fear of abandonment. This can make it harder for you to thrive in a future relationship.
- Ignoring red flags in a relationship usually signals that you tend to go against your intuition and second guess yourself, probably due to desperation, lack of self confidence, or loneliness.
- Being someone who reacts with anger rather than calmness will bring a lot of extra drama and tension to a future relationship.
These examples illustrate why it is important for us all to work on healing the areas that we struggle in. It will make us a better and more fulfilled person and help us become a better woman in a relationship. Always remember that until you become the right person for yourself you can not be the right person for someone else.
Love Should Complement Your Life, Not Complete It
Most of us have heard that line in the movie Jerry Maguire where Tom Cruise says, “You complete me.” It is a great line for a movie, but not exactly for real life. Our lives should never be defined by another person. A person can’t complete you. A person can add to your happiness, but they can’t be your happiness. Your significant other should be the cherry on top of your already fulfilled life.
We should have a life filled with the things that bring us joy while we are single. Spend time with friends and family and do the things you enjoy doing.
We can’t depend on people to fill the void in our lives. Only one thing can do that, and it is God. He is the one who can fill any void that you have, and people will never be able to do that. People add to what God has already fixed in your life.
So in your waiting season, if you are feeling that void in your life, this is the time to get closer to God. Talk to him daily , pray, and ask for what you need. Remember that men will come and go, but God goes nowhere.
Trusting the Timing Without Wasting the Present
One mistake that a lot of women make when it comes to waiting for the right person is thinking that life can’t go on without a relationship. I have made this mistake myself. We can become very consumed with the desire to be in a relationship and what that relationship will look like in the future. This can cause us to forget to think about our present life. The future relationship is put on a pedestal, and we look at our current life as less important.
One reason you might think that is because when your thoughts are consumed with the future, you will neglect the wonderful present life you could have. You tell yourself that when you meet the right person, you will take that trip to Italy you’ve always wanted to go on. You have a bucket list that you want to start checking off, and once you’re in a relationship, you will finally be able to get started on that.
What are you waiting for? Why do you need to be in a relationship to enjoy life? A relationship doesn’t define our lives. Life is what we make of it. If you want to travel, do it now. Do you want to start a hobby, start a business, write a book, move to a different state, or do anything else you’ve been wanting to accomplish? Do it now.
If you continue to put off the things you want to do now you will end up regretting not starting before you start a relationship. A relationship will consume a lot of your time, because you are getting to know each other and the excitement of it all. This leaves you less time to start that business or that big project you’ve been putting off.
Be grateful for this time that you have, because this is the time to get stuff done and have some fun! I challenge you to create a list of things that you will no longer postpone. There is no time like the present.
Becoming the Person You’re Meant to Be
I know waiting for the right person can be a long journey and a very difficult one. But let’s not lose sight of the positives. This time is your time to grow, get to know you better, get closer to God, and thrive in your single season. When you do that, the wait will not feel so frustrating.
So the hard truth is that waiting for the right person is about more than patience — it’s about who you become while you wait.
Let me know in the comments how you are choosing to grow in your single season.
Thank you for checking out this post and I hope you have a blessed day. 😊
